Good Friends Test

My apologies for missing a post yesterday, that’s the first time since…

I can’t remember.
Seems like I’m here everyday!
I had a full day, and arrived home at midnight.
Midnight is not a good time to create a last minute entry.  Now I’ve been up til midnight working on one or two or forty… but I decided this time to pass on keeping the light on and Vernon awake.
Let me first explain that it wasn’t anything serious.
I was having Fun.
With Friends.
You know, those kind of Friends that will hold your hair out of your face while you’re puking?  <I think that may have actually happened a time or two in the distant past, come to think of it>  but Good Friends… is what I’m trying to say.  For example as I arrived at their house yesterday morning… I had a BIG PROBLEM.
It was a unique Problem.
A Problem courtesy of two English Shepherds and one Aussie.
<For clarification… Dally was innocent of this little escapade>
I was working at the Mills Place as the early darkness settled down Wednesday night.  Five thirty/quitting time arrived and I grabbed my coat and was shutting off lights.  Dally had stayed inside with me, the other dogs were outside.  Suddenly barking erupted and lasted perhaps 30 seconds.
I just knew it… and they’d chased them away and settled right back down.
I slipped into my Muck Boots, zipped up my Carhartt, and stepped outside.
“Oh.  Oh.  Yuck!!!!!!!!”
Waving my arms and shooting daggers at three fragrant dogs, I walked the few feet to my Durango and opened the hatch.  Sighing, I watched as four dogs loaded up, and I quickly slipped into the driver’s seat.  I rolled the windows down and cranked up the heat.
It was bad… but they’ve been worse.
I knew I’d definitely have to wash that heavy blanket I put down in a feeble attempt to preserve my car’s beauty.
Four quick miles later, I was home and settling down on the couch with Vernon.
He begins chatting with me and suddenly sniffed at his hand.  Then he looked around.  He sniffed.
I grinned.
Innocence, I thought, might make him forget what he was smelling.
“Is that you that stinks?”
Boy, that’s the phrase I’d been wanting to hear all day.
I raised my hands in a feeble gesture.  “I only walked from the house to the car… and the dogs weren’t THAT bad.”
“Oh, yeah… It’s BAD.”
“Fine.  I’m taking a shower.  There’s hamburger defrosted in the frig.  Go ahead and start cooking it and make something.”  Cool.  I’m getting out of cooking supper!
As I peel off my clothes… Vernon was right.
I did stink.
It was much easier to tell from a distance.
My coat, shirt, jeans, and even my ball cap reeked.
The ball cap had done enough duty, it ended up in the garbage.  The clothes in the washer.  Me in a shower scrubbing away with my Ayate cloth!
Being blonde that I am… I simply enjoyed a long shower and the act of missing out on cooking duties.
Slide into Thursday morning.
I’m dressed and ready and looking good and smelling great thanks to some new perfume.  <The storebought kind!>
I grab my sunglasses and wallet and a little cash and I’m out the door to spend the day shopping with Good Friends.
I’m smiling.
I’m giggling.
I’m probably humming some tune.
I’m psyched!
Until I open the door of the Durango and it washes over me again.
“Oh, Lordy.”
I roll the windows down a little, but it is Cold this morning and I can’t stand for them to be very far down.  My Good Friends live seven miles away.  I sit on my coat and hope my sweatshirt will protect me from the seat.  I try to come up with an alternate plan, but I can’t use the pickup, the guys need it.  Daniel would have a fit if I stole his little Firebird without *permission*.  Forget the fourwheeler… not at 20 degrees for seven miles!!!  I leave and hope that the skunk smell doesn’t *stick*.
When I walk into my Friends’ house the first words out of my mouth are: “Hi, do I stink?” and I thrust my arm under their noses.
“Yes!” they say in unison.
Great.  Seven miles ago I looked good and smelled great.  Now I’m driving two hours to go shopping and I look good and smell horrible except for the smidge of an area covered by my Rare Gold.
I peel off my coat.  Ditch the sweatshirt.  Hang them on a hook outside the door.  They dig in their closet until I’m outfitted again.
A curled lip and wrinkled nose still disapprove.  My jeans aren’t passing inspection.
One grabs the Glade, one the Febreze.  I choose Febreze and close my eyes and spin like a kid getting fumigated for mosquito proofing.
Now I’m standing in damp jeans and borrowed coat… I feel my Good Looks deteriorating rapidly.
My Good Friends finish getting ready, grabbing lists and money and sunglasses and finally return to me.
One bends over and smells my jeans.
I think that goes right there on the Friend List with Holding-Your-Hair-Back.
How many of your friends right this instant would willing do the Smell Test to Skunk Endowed Jeans?  If you’ve got one, you’re doing good!
“Yes?  Do I pass?”
“Yeah, you’ll do.”
I can feel the grin coming back, the humming starting back in my head…
We’re Going *Antique* Shopping…
It was Great Fun.
At the second little booth I saw these.
Be still my heart.  I LOVE teapots and pitchers… but have no practical place to put them… so I drool and never buy.  Like I need more stuff to dust.  But after my Blue Willow ware story from the other day… These little 4″ beauties about did me in.  I could have bought all six!
I could have Good Friends for High Tea and use a different cream pitcher almost every day.
They deserve that… or better! but I left all six on the shelf.
The day ended late and I missed you all… you’re my Friends, too.  You just don’t live close enough to pass the Good Friends test… but if you like, I have a pair of skunky jeans I could mail you…
November 12, 2009   Hell’s Half Acre
November 12, 2008   Green Leaves and Snow

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