This was first posted November 12, 2010.
My apologies for missing a post yesterday, that’s the first time since… gee… I can’t remember. Seems like I’m here everyday! I had a full day, and arrived home at midnight. Midnight is not a good time to create a last minute entry. Now I’ve been up til midnight working on one or two or forty… but I decided this time to pass on keeping the light on and Vernon awake.
Let me first explain that it wasn’t anything serious. I was having Fun. With Friends. You know, those kind of Friends that will hold your hair out of your face while you’re puking? <I think that may have actually happened a time or two in the distant past, come to think of it> but Good Friends… is what I’m trying to say.
For example as I arrived at their house yesterday morning… I had a BIG PROBLEM. It was a unique Problem. A Problem courtesy of two English Shepherds and one Aussie. <For clarification… Dally was innocent of this little escapade>
I was working at the Mills Place as the early darkness settled down Wednesday night. Five thirty/quitting time arrived and I grabbed my coat and was shutting off lights. Dally had stayed inside with me, the other dogs were outside. Suddenly barking erupted and lasted perhaps 30 seconds. “Deer.” I just knew it… and they’d chased them away and settled right back down. I slipped into my Muck Boots, zipped up my Carhartt, and stepped outside.
“Oh. Oh. Yuck!!!!!!!!” “Skunk.”
Waving my arms and shooting daggers at three fragrant dogs, I walked the few feet to my Durango and opened the hatch. Sighing, I watched as four dogs loaded up, and I quickly slipped into the driver’s seat. I rolled the windows down and cranked up the heat. It was bad… but they’ve been worse. I knew I’d definitely have to wash that heavy blanket I put down in a feeble attempt to preserve my car’s beauty.
Four quick miles later, I was home and settling down on the couch with Vernon. He begins chatting with me and suddenly sniffed at his hand. Then he looked around. He sniffed. I grinned. Innocence, I thought, might make him forget what he was smelling.
“Is that you that stinks?”
Boy, that’s the phrase I’d been wanting to hear all day.
I raised my hands in a feeble gesture. “I only walked from the house to the car… and the dogs weren’t THAT bad.”
“Oh, yeah… It’s BAD.”
“Fine. I’m taking a shower. There’s hamburger defrosted in the frig. Go ahead and start cooking it and make something.”
Cool. I’m getting out of cooking supper! As I peel off my clothes… Vernon was right. I did stink. It was much easier to tell from a distance. My coat, shirt, jeans, and even my ball cap reeked. The ball cap had done enough duty, it ended up in the garbage. The clothes in the washer. Me in a shower scrubbing away with my Ayate cloth!
Being blonde that I am… I simply enjoyed a long shower and the act of missing out on cooking duties.
Slide into Thursday morning. I’m dressed and ready and looking good and smelling great thanks to some new perfume. <The storebought kind!> I grab my sunglasses and wallet and a little cash and I’m out the door to spend the day shopping with Good Friends.
I’m smiling. I’m giggling. I’m probably humming some tune. I’m psyched!
Until I open the door of the Durango and it washes over me again. “Oh, Lordy.” I roll the windows down a little, but it is Cold this morning and I can’t stand for them to be very far down.
My Good Friends live seven miles away. I sit on my coat and hope my sweatshirt will protect me from the seat. I try to come up with an alternate plan, but I can’t use the pickup, the guys need it. Daniel would have a fit if I stole his little Firebird without *permission*. Forget the fourwheeler… not at 20 degrees for seven miles!!!
I leave and hope that the skunk smell doesn’t *stick*. When I walk into my Friends’ house the first words out of my mouth are: “Hi, do I stink?” and I thrust my arm under their noses.
“Yes!” they say in unison. Great. Seven miles ago I looked good and smelled great. Now I’m driving two hours to go shopping and I look good and smell horrible except for the smidge of an area covered by my Rare Gold.
I peel off my coat. Ditch the sweatshirt. Hang them on a hook outside the door. They dig in their closet until I’m outfitted again. Sniff. A curled lip and wrinkled nose still disapprove.
My jeans aren’t passing inspection. One grabs the Glade, one the Febreze. I choose Febreze and close my eyes and spin like a kid getting fumigated for mosquito proofing. Now I’m standing in damp jeans and borrowed coat… I feel my Good Looks deteriorating rapidly.
My Good Friends finish getting ready, grabbing lists and money and sunglasses and finally return to me. One bends over and smells my jeans.
I think that goes right there on the Friend List with Holding-Your-Hair-Back. Think. How many of your friends right this instant would willing do the Smell Test to Skunk Endowed Jeans? If you’ve got one, you’re doing good!
“Yes? Do I pass?” “Yeah, you’ll do.” Great! I can feel the grin coming back, the humming starting back in my head… We’re Going *Antique* Shopping… It was Great Fun. At the second little booth I saw these.
Be still my heart. I LOVE teapots and pitchers… but have no practical place to put them… so I drool and never buy. Like I need more stuff to dust. But after my Blue Willow ware story from the other day… These little 4″ beauties about did me in. I could have bought all six! I could have Good Friends for High Tea and use a different cream pitcher almost every day. They deserve that… or better! but I left all six on the shelf.
The day ended late and I missed you all… you’re my Friends, too. You just don’t live close enough to pass the Good Friends test… but if you like, I have a pair of skunky jeans I could mail you…Find me here!